I would like to take this opportunity to thank all the promoters and venues who put
us on over our 13 year gigging career especially Hippy Joe Hymas. We’ve finished
taking bookings now and that especially includes private bookings or parties, as
the last couple left me with vivid, recurring nightmares.
BOOKING AND BANTER NOW CLOSED
CONTACT THE ARTIST FORMALLY KNOWN AS KUNT FOR LICENSING OR PROFESSIONAL REASONS
Any TV/Film Producers who are looking to prematurely end their careers will be keen
to read of the following ‘opportunities’ that need backing.
I SWEAR Our musical film
I Swear is an urban folk tale that questions the idea that there are certain things
that should never be spoken, cheerfully romping through a checklist of taboos including
racialism, the big C and paedofiddlia before ultimately rejoicing in a celebration
of colourful language.
Here’s the pitch: Potty-mouthed singer Kunt returns to his
hometown to find swearing has been outlawed. Can he overthrow the censor Nazis and
bring the fucking feelgood factor back to Basildon? (Lazy description: Think Footloose
SHANNON MATTHEWS: THE MUSICAL
Foul-mouthed mother-from-hell Karen Matthews is fed up being a nobody until she hatches
a cunning plan for a shot at the big time.
Henpecked common-law husband Craig Meehan
has a secret interest that nobody knows about.
Borderline special needs uncle Michael
Donovan just wants a bit of company and a couple of quid for some baccy.
Yorkshire copper Detective Inspector Radgitt faces a race against time to get to
the bottom of this case and find the missing girl, Shannon Matthews, aged 9.
This is Shannon Matthews: The Musical, a foul-mouthed romp through one of the most
bizarre news stories of recent years, brought to you from the writer of cult internet
phenomenon Kunt and the Gang. It currently exists as a 75 minute audio musical and
needs to be brought to life on the stage.
Shannon Matthews: The Musical features 11
original songs including Can’t Work, Wont Work, Different Dads and Shannon Ain’t
Dead (She’s Under My Bed).
CONTACT THE ARTIST FORMALLY KNOWN AS KUNT FOR PIPEDREAM REASONS
I own all copyrights in my music (apart from the ones that sound too much like something else) and have instrumental versions of all the tracks. I am happy to entertain offers of licensing as long as they’re not too kuntish. Ping us an email with what you have in mind : email@example.com
I will write you a funny song to raise the overall average standard of your ailing TV / comedy show, again, as long as it’s not too kuntish. Comedy songs don’t have to be four Oxbridge twats stood round a grand piano. Ping us an email to: firstname.lastname@example.org