Kunt's Official Website
THE KUNTS LIST 
Hear first about any campaigns, music, 
videos, news and freebies.

E-mail:
 
THE OFFICIAL WEBSITE OF
& It’s usually one mail a month JOIN THE KUNT KLUB: BUY US A PINT: PayPal: Add CD to cart PayPal: Add DEAL to cart
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DVDs are in PAL Format and come in CD packaging
to match with your KATG CD collection.
ALBUMS: £5.99 each, EPs £3.99 (plus P+P: UK £2, rest of world £4)
DVDs now come in a CD sized sleeve so you can keep them with your KATG CD Collection and are are PAL coding only.
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DVDs
£5.99 each - P+P: UK £1.00, rest of world £2.00
12 BEST-SELLING KUNT CD ALBUMS
£65.  


P+P: UK £5, ROW £10
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KUNT’s DEALS
Instructions for buying stuff from the Kuntshop, just in case you ain’t worked it out already:

Click the 'Add To Cart' buttons to buy securely on line with Paypal.
You can also use Paypal to pay with a credit or debit card.
It's so easy Joey Deacon could do it in the time it takes Ernie to get back from the shops.

Follow the instructions being sure the payment is sent to account:
disco.minge@virgin.net

Check the total amount is correct. Remember this includes Postage + Packing.

When you've sent the payment correctly, you will get an email confirmation from PayPal.

If for any reason PayPal is being a cunt or if you have any problems at all,
please drop us an email at: disco.minge@virgin.net

Delivery time is nearly always within 7 days, though we aim to be quicker.
kunt lp4 cd2 MP3s.zip PayPal: View Cart DEAL 3: DIRTY DOZEN
DEAL 4: THE FUCKIN LOT
CDs
BOTH KUNT AND THE GANG
‘BEST OF’ CD ALBUMS

FOR £10

P+P: UK £3, rest of world £6   
UK
WORLD
DEAL 2: BESTEST KUNT
All come with a nice little insert booklet featuring original artwork / sleevenotes by Kunt.
CD
MIKE ‘s           Corner PayPal: Add CD to cart
UK
WORLD
BLUE ROFL (2016)
(Shitting On) A Picture Of The Queen
Michael Eavis And His Micro-Penis
Bras
Seedy Affair
Penis Extension
Having A Wank In Happyland
It’s Just A Butterfly
Shop with confidence. The only place for Kunt and the Gang merch that supports Kunt directly. Sent to you from Kunt’s mum’s spare bedroom.

For downloads please visit our
THE KUNTSHOP IS OPEN FOR BUSINESS!
Jesus Died Of A Stranglewank
The FGM Calypso
Lovely Jubbly
What Do Dreams Mean?
A Little Baby With A Lady’s Cunt
You’re Going To Die
KUNT’LL FIX IT (2015)
GREATEST HITS VOL ii
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UK
WORLD
Paul Stephenson’s party
Amy (It’s a terrible shamey)
Bangers and mash
That’s why I’m voting UKIP
Simon Cowell (#dirtyprotest)
We’re all pink on the inside
Deal Or No Deal
Jimmy Savile and the sexy kids
Kuntish Christmas
My fucking mental friend
The wrong Ian Watkins
A lonely wank in a Travelodge
Nobody spunks up a cunt anymore
50 things you should think about
     to stop you doing your beans
Jesus (Baby with a beard)
Paperboy
Women love a bastard
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UK
WORLD
COMPLETE KUNT (2010)
GREATEST HITS VOL i
Have a wank
Perverts on the internet
Gentleman's wash
Chips or tits
Wank fantasy
That's my erection
Men with beards
Let's send Nan to Dignitas
Carol Vorderman
Fred and Rose
For a million pounds
I was pissed out of my head
Michael Jackson tribute
I'm gonna lick you out
Use my arsehole as a cunt
Wanking over a porno polaroid…
I sucked off a bloke
Shaven haven
Fucksticks
JAP’S iTUNES (2014)
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A lonely wank in a Travelodge
That’s why I’m voting UKIP
Craig had pubes when he was nine
Period pants
Five people died on the M25
What’s the point in burlesque?
The abortion song
Women love a bastard
The cure for depression
When’s it OK to have a wank?
I think I might be middle class
My bumrape place
Britain’s got talent shows
Pubic hair
Amy (it’s a terrible shamey)
You brought a paedo along to 5-a-side
Political correctness gone mad
Shannon ain’t dead (she’s under my bed)
Harry is our man
Angry birds gave me piles
Bored of tits
Female referee (sexist version)
Tourettes girlfriend
KISS YOU UNDER THE
CAMEL TOE  - THE
XMAS SINGLES
(2011)
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UK
WORLD
Kuntish Christmas
God’s stitches
All I want for Christmas is you
                     (to bring me off)
Have you seen my snowman?
This Christmas
Santa’s sack
It can’t be rape (it’s Christmas)
HURRY UP AND
SUCK ME OFF BEFORE
I GET FAMOUS
(2011)
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Hurry up and suck me off  before I get famous
The loveliest lulu in Langdon Hills
My nob is bigger than your nob
Bangers and mash
Let’s fuck about with fireworks
Paul Stephenson’s party
My homeless friend
I’m gonna think of you
SLOPPY SECONDS (2012)
(Rarities and out-takes)
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UK
WORLD
Let’s have a wank for England 2010
Pippa Middleton
Boo hoo Houston
The Boys feat. Kunt - Grandad
(CD Only)
MC iPod - Your band sucks (Remix) (CD Only)
Hurry up and suck me off (Perverts version)
Forbidden love / If in doubt (Perverts versions)
You horrible man (Perverts version)
Wank fantasy / Heather Mills / Shaven haven
Pissed out of my head (Alternative versions)
Carol Vorderman /
Wank fantasy (remixes)
You horrible man (you killed a kid
at Christmas)
The 12 days of Christmas
Christmas clearout (yuletide log)
Jesus (baby with a beard)
If in doubt get your corey out
I want to do a poo at Paul’s
Teach your kids to smoke
Whose was that pube?
50 things you should think about
      to stop you doing your beans
I HAVE A LITTLE WANK AND
I HAVE A LITTLE CRY
(2004)
Use my arsehole as a cunt
A semi-on with a drop of pre-cum
The worst thing in the world
Wanking over a pornographic polaroid…
Soapy Tit Wank
Feminine Itch
My mum found my wankmags
I shit my pants
I HAVE ANOTHER WANK AND
I HAVE ANOTHER CRY
(2006)
Doctor Fox
Let's go commando
Dee (the oldest groupie)
Detox my cock
Make sure that she's rank
Arranged bride
Kunt comfort
Fucksticks
ONE LAST WANK AND
ONE LAST CRY
(2008)
Perverts on the internet
Chips or tits
The birds and the bees
I'm gonna lick you out
Men with beards
         (what are they hiding?)
A cup of tea
Ex-girlfriend
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WORLD
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Sit down wee
The illegal download song
You're a pervert
Pubes
The two finger test
One last wank and one last cry
Gentleman's wash
Fred and Rose
Young girl
Princess Di (I'll wank and I will cry)
Shaven haven
Just can’t get enough
Wank the dog
Carol Vorderman
The bloke up the garage fucked a sheep
Have a wank
HERE’S ONE I KNOCKED
OUT EARLIER
(2009)
(Rarities and out-takes)
Wank fantasy
Cock in a cunt
Air hostess
Let's have a wank for England
For a million pounds
Equal opportunities wank
Have a wank (acoustic)
Heather Mills
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UK
WORLD
Pubes advert
There's a child molester living in Grays
Shaven haven (acoustic)
Female referee
Rachel Riley
The Queen's cunt
Kunt and the Gang megamix
+ FREE DOWNLOAD CD2
Full length original musical written
by Kunt and the Gang and performed
by genuine Northeners, featuring
the tracks:
Can't work, won't work
I've got a plan (based on Maddie McCann)
Shannon Shannon (where can you be?)
You're always on the web
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UK
WORLD
SHANNON MATTHEWS:
THE MUSICAL
(2010)
Different dads
P.O.P.U.L.A.R.
Shannon ain't dead (she's under my bed)
You're a paedophile
Shannon Shannon (living in my flat)
It were nothing to do with me
Two of a kind
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Limited Edition CD
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UK
WORLD
LITTLE KUNT:
KUNTRARIAN
(2013)
My nob is a great big nob
24 hours from Tilbury
Meet Jade Goody
Mum’s rubber glove
Life
My fucking mental friend
Things
It’s my party
Wipe to beige
Tracey, stop bringing black blokes back
Cheer up, you cunt
UK
WORLD
MEN WITH BEARDS
EP (2008)
£3.99 plus P+P
Men with beards (what are they hiding?)
Barry didn't do it
Gary did do it
Men with beards (Beardy weirdy 12" mix)
Men with beards (Libel-free radio edit)
If you don't like this song you're a fucking cunt
Out of date 2008 Multimedia extras!

Men with beards VIDEO
Men with beards and b-sides ringtones
Wallpapers for computers + mobile phones
Men with beards fact file
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UK
WORLD
MIKE GIBBONS (2015)
MR. AVERAGE
The debut album from Kunt’s
manager and opportunist
wannabe minor internet hit
singer Mike Gibbons,
co-written with Kunt.

Kunt cannot be held responsible if you
think Mike’s album is shit.
UK
WORLD
MIKE GIBBONS (2016)
DANGEROUS LONER
EP
My best friend is a tortoise
I’m shit at DIY
Festival girl
My IBS
What’s in a sausage?
I can’t eat Chinese food
Modern nan
When I’m flying my drone
Fings ain’t what they used to be
The difficult second album from
Kunt’s manager. So difficult
In fact, it’s just a 4-track EP.
Lyrics co-written with Kunt.
Dangerous Loner
Air BnB
Charity Begins At Home
My Toupe
PROPER KUNT (2012)
Live in Southend
Kunt and the Gang’s definitive live DVD.
A 75 minute show featuring all the greatest minor internet hits live and more.

Plus: Loads of unseen live videos
         Kunt live at Download
         Kunt at the Panic Awards and more!
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UK
WORLD
COMPLETE KUNT (2010)
The greatest minor internet hits
Greatest Video Hits: Fucksticks / Arranged bride / Wank fantasy / Shaven haven /
Fred and Rose / Use my arsehole as a cunt / I sucked off a bloke / Perverts on the internet /
Men with beards / Michael Jackson tribute / I Was Pissed out of my head

Plus: Kunt and the Gang documentary uncut
         Kunt and the Gang live + unplugged
VIVA BAS VEGAS (2006)
Live in Basildon
Old school 2006 hometown live show.
A real snapshot into the early days of KATG before minor internet infamy!
‘Fucksticks', 'Use My Arsehole…' and loads off the debut album.

Plus: Kunt-aoke, the complete debut album as Karaoke tracks.
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2003 - 2010
2011 - 2016
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BOOK
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UK
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WORLD
DEAL 5: THUMBS UP FOR KUNT
i, Kunt - KUNT AND THE GANG’s AUTOBIOGRAPHY
Hand-Signed by KUNT

The complete story of Kunt and the Gang in Kunt’s own words.
386 Pages of anecdotes and insight into how Kunt went from
Essex Council odd-job man to (minor) internet superstar.  

£10.99 + P+P: UK £3.50, rest of world £7.50   
BOOK
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WORLD
BITE ô ma BITE (2019)
GREATEST HITS
EN FRANÇAIS / IN FRENCH
J’Me Branle Tout Seul Dans Un Formule 1
Bourre Mon Cul Comme Ta Bourgeoise
Je Vais Te La Lécher
Une Douche Aux Latrines
Les Meufs Préfèrent Les Connards
C’est Mon Érection
Astiquer Son Gland Sur Un Polaroid
   Pornographique D’Une Ex Décédée
Dee (La Plus Vielle Des Groupies)
Dépêche-Toi Et Suce-Moi Bien
   Avant Que Je Sois Quelqu’un
Euthanasie Pour Mamie
Jeune Pompier
La Chanson De L’Avortement
Vous Allez Crever
T-SHIRTS
And for you bookworms who don’t like clutter:
Free with 30-day trial of
SPECIAL ITEMS
OUT OF STOCK
SIGN UP TO THE MAILING LIST TO HEAR
FIRST WHEN IT’S BACK IN PRINT
PERSONALISED VIDEO

I cringed a bit about doing these but lots of people asked me, so being the slag
I am I gave in and discovered they are actually a lot of fun to do.
And who wouldn’t enjoy kunting people off for cash sending people good wishes to
commemorate their special occasions.

I never get tired of performing my hit song Boris Johnson is a Fucking Cunt
replacing Boris’s name with your friend, partner or relative, or if they’ve got a
favourite song of mine I can perform a personal rendition of that instead.

Please remember to supply me with:
1. Their Name
2. Who it’s from.
3. The occasion.
4. Any details / tributes/ misdemeanours you’d like me to include.
5. Which song (if you want one).

SEND A SEPARATE EMAIL WITH ALL THE DETAILS! To disco.minge@virgin.net

£50
(Please feel free to give us a tip afterwards if you are well off and feel it’s worth it.)

Note: WAGNER does them cheaper, but he’s nowhere near as abusive.
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I have teamed up with punk T-shirt company Keekaboo (UK Subs, Buzzcocks etc.)
to bring you a better range, quality and service than I could offer doing it from my shed!
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UK
WORLD
THE KUNTS
KUNTS PUNK IN
YOUR FACE (2020)
A Lonely Wank In A Travelodge
That’s Why I Voted Brexit
Men With Beards
Use My Arsehole As A Cunt
God Save The Queen’s Cunt
Fucksticks
Barry Didn’t Do It
Jesus Died Of A Stranglewank
Boris Johnson Is A Fucking Cunt
Nobody Spunks Up A Cunt Anymore

WITH EXCLUSIVE BONUS TRACK
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UK
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THE KUNTS
UNREQUITED PUNK
4 Track CD EP
UK
WORLD
THE KUNTS
BORIS JOHNSON IS A
FUCKING CUNT
EP
Paperboy
Wank Fantasy
Wanking Over A Pornographic Polaroid Of An Ex-Girlfriend Who Died
Perverts On The Internet
23 Different Versions, Mixes and Bootlegs of the Number 5 Hit Single.
Enough to test the tolerance of the most ardent Kunt supporter / Boris hater.

Includes the original & radio-friendly versions, plus Matt Hancock, Donald Trump, Xi Jinping, The BBC,
and the Gammons. Oh, and Prince Andrew Is A Sweaty Nonce… and more!
KORONA KLUB
KLASSICS Vol i
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UK
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Korona Klub Theme
Christian Atsu And His Katsu Curry
A Lonely Mouse In A Travelodge
Twice (A Tribute To Dulux Once)
Have A Wank (Korona Klub Version)
A Bag Of Wank
Norman Wisdom
Mary Berry And Her Hairy Mary
My Cousin Looks Like Pavel Pogrebnyak
Women Love A Bastard (Korona Klub Version)
Having A Wank In Happyland (Korona Klub Version)
Boris Johnson Is A Fucking Cunt (Korona Klub Version)
Phil, I’m Missing You (A Tribute To Prince Philip)

CD ONLY BONUS TRACK
Christian Atsu And His Katsu Curry (Atsu’s 12” Mix)
NEW!!
3 KUNTS CDs  FOR £12!

THE KUNTS debut album (2020)  +
THE KUNTS Unrequited Punk EP +
Boris Johnson 23-track endurance test!

P+P: UK £3, rest of world £6   
UK
WORLD
DEAL 1: ALL THE KUNTS
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See CD section below for tracklists or to purchase individually
£3.99 plus P+P
£3.99 plus P+P
£3.99 plus P+P
FRAMED HAND-WRITTEN LYRICS

Lyrics to your favourite Kunt and the Gang song, Hand-written and signed by Kunt.

The perfect gift for that special kunt in your life.


(Let me know which song and if you want a personal message added -
state it in the PayPal note or send me an email
to disco.minge@virgin.net)

£60 + P+P: UK £5, rest of world £10
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UK
WORLD
i, Kunt - KUNT AND THE GANG’s AUDIO BOOK  (READ BY KUNT)
(ON DATA CD, ALSO INCLUDES 15 GREATEST MINOR INTERNET HITS)

The complete story of Kunt and the Gang as read by Kunt.
Over 10 hours of chuckles, chortles and guffaws.
 

£9.99 plus P+P
UK
WORLD
AUDIOBOOK
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ON DATA CD
i, Kunt - KUNT AND THE GANG’s AUDIO BOOK  (READ BY KUNT)
(ON DATA CD, ALSO INCLUDES 15 GREATEST MINOR INTERNET HITS)

The complete story of Kunt and the Gang as read by Kunt.
Over 10 hours of chuckles, chortles and guffaws.
 

£9.99 plus P+P
UK
WORLD
AUDIOBOOK
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ON DATA CD
SAVE
2 QUID
SAVE
2 QUID
SAVE
7 QUID
SAVE
26 QUID
SAVE
SPACE*
*AND QUIDS
Kunt Shop